I had a realization yesterday as I walked along a trail in Missouri. It hit me how hard it has always been for me to find beauty in all things. I’ve always been transfixed by the extremes. I love the mountains, the desert, the ocean. For most of my life, I needed to be in these places to feel peace and at home. As I walked yesterday, my first emotion was a longing for Colorado and the mountains. And then I caught myself, and began to really see what was around me. I was walking through trees covered in incredible green vines. The ground was a carpet of tiny purple and white flowers. The trees were alive with cardinals, woodpeckers, and so many birds I haven’t seen since my childhood.
As I walked further I realized how this mind set had spilled over to my feelings about myself and especially my body. There are many times in my life where I haven’t felt at home in my body. And it all has to do with an ideal that I hold myself to. One - that no matter how hard I try- I never quite reach. So, yesterday as I walked I began to see the beauty not only in the landscape, but in myself.
I noticed my hands. I’ve always loved aging hands. They tell so many stories. And I realized how much this body is a walking monument to all of my life experiences. It’s soul purpose is to provide a vessel for me to love and nurture - myself and others.
These places, both physical location and body awareness, have always been the “in between” spaces for me. Where I reside and exist while I wait to get to the next stage, or achieve that next level of whatever.
Yesterday was Earth Day and on this day I received one of the greatest gifts ever. I was reminded of the incredible beauty in all spaces.
From this day forward I will work to catch myself when I fall into the old patterns of wishing for something other than what exists in the present. I will work to see the beauty in all things, allowing myself to love on a deeper level than has ever been possible. What an incredible gift and challenge!