I hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving that gave you the opportunity to connect with what you are truly grateful for in your life.
I was reading a piece by Sharon Salzberg this morning entitled: How to Talk to Your Relatives Over the Holidays.It's a beautiful article that I highly recommend you check out. As I read it this section jumped off the page at me...
To really listen you come to the exchange from a viewpoint of curiosity, not judgment. You do not need to lead with emotion...The best approach is to ask questions.
This is the work I teach others to do for themselves as well. When our stories surface, when we become scared, unsure of ourselves, afraid of what's next, this is how we meet those conversations happening within our heads. We don't get caught up in their emotion, but instead observe them with kind curiosity.
I'll share an example. I have a good friend who has always felt guilt if she isn't very busy at all times. There is a story that plays in her head about how she won't be valued if she isn't busy and accomplishing something. So, we started to do the work that Sharon is talking about above. We met that conversation with curiosity, not judgement. When she started to have these thoughts, she paused, stepped outside of them, and asked herself if this was really true for her. Did she really believe it? And if so, why?
This simple process of shining a light on the thoughts and stories that are driving our actions opens the door for incredible change.
We no longer have to believe something about ourselves simply because we always have. We have the power and opportunity to be present in this moment and recognize who we truly are - incredible individuals with immense experience, understanding, and kindness to share first with ourselves and then with others.
I wish this shift for all of you in the coming New Year. That you are able to step away from the self judgement and doubt and bring to the world your incredible gifts and power.