This past week has been a tough one. It’s been hard to get out of bed in the morning, and the days have felt sluggish and unproductive. In the past, this would have crushed me. I would have been filled with guilt and self-doubt. The old Laurie would have wondered, “How do I feel like I can support other women if I fall into this space for a solid week?!” The new Laurie realizes, “How could I expect to support other women on their journey if I didn’t fall into this space for a week at a time?!”
The power that comes with changing our stories is amazing. These experiences no longer take me down, because they are no longer associated with anything in my past, or negative self-judgement. I can look at what is happening and realize that I’m simply going through a low time. And instead of letting it become all consuming, I can take a look around and try to see why I’m feeling this way. Maybe I haven’t had any alone time and am feeling empty. Maybe I’m a little under the weather and just need to rest without judgement. Whatever it is - I am now able to meet that realization with kindness and compassion. And finding the ability to be kind to myself in this way has also opened the door to recognize and give support to others in this same space. Giving them permission (through my actions and support) to go low when needed, and hopefully providing support and tools that allow that low to not be that bad, but rather a place to deepen our learning and self-awareness.
There are always times of self-doubt and low points in life. The difference is that the lows aren’t nearly as low as before. And even during those times, I understand what I need to do to refocus and become centered. I am now in control of these times, instead of them being in control of me.