Food is losing its power.
It’s been an upward battle for me. It’s one of my greatest challenges that consumes much of my though throughout the day. What should I be eating? What shouldn’t I be eating? Why can’t I control my cravings. What does it mean about me on a deeper level? So many questions that revolve around food. There are so many things I understand about eating patterns and habits on an intellectual level, but my real work has been fully understanding and integrating my relationship to food within my body.
Yesterday something shifted. It’s the shift I’ve been waiting for for a very long time. I was working from the house and in an incredibly creative space. As all of these ideas began to take form on paper, I realized my stomach was growling. I was hungry. But, I didn’t want to stop working. And then it all connected. I realized I didn’t want to eat because it would dampen and dull the creative space I was in. I had used food to numb feelings for so long, that it was incredibly successful at numbing everything. The good and the bad. I also realized that there isn't any anything wrong or scary with being hungry. So, I grabbed some water and let that hungry feeling enter into the creative work I was doing. Instead of hindering my ability, it served to keep me present in my body and truly embody what was trying to move through me and onto the paper.
It was freeing and incredible. I’m holding onto that awareness today and allowing myself to analyze my hunger as I move through my meetings and clients. Am I hungry? Or simply trying to numb what I’m feeling? And how will giving into that hunger take away from the deeper work I am meant to be doing?
I’ve asked these question many times without an answer. Yesterday opened a door for me and again proved that tuning into our bodies for awareness and guidance is such a crucial first step for creating change in ourselves and our environment.