I was supposed to leave for Bali a week ago Friday. My flight was scheduled to leave at 10pm and at the 11th hour everything began to unravel. As they announced they were going to board in ten minutes, I watched the retreat I was going to attend begin to fall apart on Facebook, and also knew in my heart that there were some things I should be taking care of on the home front. In that instant I was at a complete loss for to how to proceed. Did I get on the plane and go to Bali anyway? Or did I head home? I was so in my head that I couldn’t tell which way was up to make the decision that was right in that moment.
So, I decided to take the steps I knew would help. I found a quiet area in the airport and sat in stillness, aware of what was spinning around in my head, but not resisting it. Instead I got curious about my thoughts. When the thought came that I should really get on the plane, I asked why? What was I hoping to gain from this trip? I realized I was looking forward to relaxing, and reconnecting to a healthier pace and rhythm. I wanted the opportunity to pause and look a little deeper at the next layer of what was waiting for me on this journey. The next question that came to me was this, can’t you find all of that right now in this moment? And the answer was a resounding - yes. With that yes it became crystal clear that my trip was over. I had learned my lesson and was ready to go home.
Did I ever imagine this ending to my much anticipated 2 weeks in Bali. No way. But, as I sit at home and return to the normal pace of life I have absolutely no regrets. I understand that my journey was complete and the lesson I learned was invaluable. It was the reminder I needed that I don’t have to go anywhere to connect with that deeper part of myself, slow down, and nurture what is truly important.
I know I’m not through with Bali, and look forward to the next lesson it is preparing to show me.